Happy New Year to Everyone

Wishing You & Your Family

A Happy, Healthy & Prosperous Chinese New Year

恭喜发财 。。。 万事如意！

GONG XI FA CAI..........

WAN ShI RU YI!!!

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So sorry to all my readers that I didn't update my blog for few days...

Busy on work, car, and so on...

New year is around the corner and I still haven't get back my car due to air bag & horn problems. Hopefully all can be settle before Saturday. If cannot settle I also don't care, just drive back 1st.. >_<

I'll be going back to my hometown from Saturday 24/1/09 until don't know when. xD
Feel free to visit me if u all want. xD
Sure I'll ask my parent to give u a "Big" ang pao!!!

2009 is my "new" year...
good luck please with me...
and those things happened in 2008 can be settle smoothly...
All I want is wealth and health. xD
and I'll bless for you all...

Cheers....

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Speechless....and just want to shout here!

AhHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

BAD MOOD!!!

把微笑留给伤你最深的人

无意中看见了这句话
突然有了一种执笔的冲动
虽然知道文字的苍白
让情感披露的体无完肤
现实的心志
让我们无法从容的面对和坦然
我们对伤害自己的人
大概永远做不到完全的“微笑”
这是多么坚强而又洒脱的人生
这其中要经历多少爱与恨的情感交织
男女之间从见面到心跳到两情相悦
再到彼此间出神入化的心灵呼唤
也许要走很长一段路程
而从一切不设防到万般柔情都化作一声
千肠百结的叹息
也许只需短短的一瞬
当昔日的真爱已不存在
当情感的繁花
已被冬雨打得残红飘零时
人们总是习惯于
停栖在爱情的树枝上低吟浅唱
不是心里仍眷恋那份柔情
等待伤害自己的人回心转意
就是也决心以同样的方式实行报复
但这都是不明智, 不潇洒, 不可爱的
最恰当的方法
就是微笑地向他道声珍重
把微笑给有负于我们的人
把泪水留给自己
把祝福给有负于我们的人
把痛苦留给自己
没有较高的文化素养
没有对情感细微的洞察
没有对所爱之人发自内心的挚爱
谁能做到微笑告别
把微笑留给一般的朋友不易
给有负于我们的人更是难上加难
因为
最伤害我们的人可能曾经是我们最深爱的人
付出的越多
被伤害时
心里越疼
然而我们不得不微笑
感情是件很复杂的事
我们不能勉强他人
相爱时理由有千条
不爱时
这千条理由一条也站不住脚，
这其中的奥秘
有谁能说得清
爱情无解, 爱情无常
只能微笑以对
何苦扰了别人又伤了自己
如果玫瑰凋谢了, 请把刺留给我
如果结束了, 会把微笑留给你

Alone on the sidewalk

Just for today, just one more day, let me moan and scream and still shed those tears and I promise I'll be better tomorrow.

It's going to be alright.

AhhHh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahhHh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AhHhHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Life Journey

To me life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead me to my destination, my purpose in life.

The road will not always be smooth, in fact, throughout my travels, I will encounter many challenges.

Some of these challenges will test my courage, strengths, weaknesses, and faith. Along the way, I may stumble upon obstacles that will come between the paths that I’m destined to take.

In order to follow the right path, I must overcome these obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are really blessings in disguise, only I don’t realize that at the time.

Along my journey I will be confronted with many situations, some will be filled with joy, and some will be filled with heartache.

How I react to what I faced with determines what kind of outcome the rest of my journey through life will be like.

When things don’t always go my way, I have two choices in dealing with the situations.

I can focus on the fact that things didn’t go how I had hoped they would and let life pass me with, or two, I can make the best out of the situation and know that these are only temporary setbacks and find the lessons that are to be learned.

Life is a big mystery

Life is a big mystery or so other say. That’s why it’s important to live by each day through the rain and the sun and the sleet and the snow. Any day, everyday is a bit more you know, the people you meet, the loved ones who care, are maybe just wondering if you have something to share. Well, you know that’s not so true because Life, my friend, begins with you.Life is full of thrills and life can be rough. Yet life is full of chills and life can be tough, making decisions, fulfilling your dreams, choosing your future, isn’t easy as it seems.

Dealing with pressure, work, as people criticize you, they make you look like a fool with drama and gossip floating around.

All I can do is to hang out with friends, so the fun never ends, share all my laughter & smile everyday like I forget all my problems. It’s better that way…

Deep inside I just know who am I, believing that I can make it to live my life to the fullest and try not to break it~*

懂了泪水，就懂了人生

生命总是在自己的啼哭中开始
于别人的泪水里抵达终点
泪水给生命打上了烙印，
直到生命结束后
或许还有泪水
在记忆已经飘逝的灵魂
人是情感的动物
有七情六欲
不能长期压抑在心底
显现于外
不外乎表情、语言、动作
喜也好，悲也罢，
哭着笑着
泪水就在眼眶中积聚
水一样地流
一滴一滴便是情感的世界
这世界里有真也有假
有呼唤也有陷阱
人生总在泪水中前行
酸甜哭辣百味尝尽
或许
懂了泪水，就懂了人生

心，你到底想要什么？

一个懒惰的人
同时又是一个不安于现状的人
不安于现状就要去努力奋斗
可是却怎么都提不起干劲
好好学习天天向上的口号早已记不起
为建设社会主义而奋斗
太夸张
为自己而奋斗
为什么就没动力
总觉得生活不应该是这个样子
要么
采菊东篱下，悠然见南山
要么
灯红酒绿，夜夜笙歌
到底追求的是什么样的生活
却搞得自己身心疲惫
为什么没有奋斗的勇气和毅力
却心比天高
不安于现状
心
你到底想要什么?

放弃也是一种美丽

在心中如果有“曾经拥有就永远不要失去”的偏执狂与占有欲，
越想要获得爱的永久保证书，只会越走越偏离。　
谁说喜欢一样东西就一定要得到它。
有时候，有些人，为了得到他喜欢的东西，殚精竭虑，
费尽心机，更甚者可能会不择手段，以至走向极端。
也许他得到了他喜欢的东西，但是在他追逐的过程中，失去的东西也无法计算，
他付出的代价是其得到的东西所无法弥补的。
也许那代价是沉重的，直到最后才会被他发现罢了。
其实喜欢一样东西，不一定要得到它。　　
有时候为了强求一样东西而令自己的身心都疲惫不堪，是很不划算的。
再者，有些东西是“只可远观而不可近瞧的”，一旦你得到了它，
日子一久你可能会发现其实它并不如想象中的那么好。
如果你再发现你失去的和放弃的东西更珍贵的时候，我想你一定会懊恼不已。
所以也常有这样的一句话“得不到的东西永远是最好的。”
所以当你喜欢一样东西时，得到它并不是你最明智的选择。
谁说喜欢一个人就一定要和他在一起。
有时候，有些人，为了能和自己喜欢的人在一起，
他们不惜使用“一哭二闹三上吊”这种最原始的办法，想以此挽留爱人。
也许这留住了爱人的人，但是这却留不住他的心。
更有甚至，为了这而赔上了自己那年轻而又灿烂的生命，可能这会唤起爱人的回应吧，
但是这也带给了他更多的内疚与自责，还有不安，从此快乐就会和他挥手告别。
其实喜欢一个人，并不一定要和他在一起，虽然有人常说“不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有”，
但是并不是所有人都会快乐。
喜欢一个，最重要的是让他快乐，因为他的喜怒哀乐都会牵动你的心绪。
所以也有这样一句话“你快乐，所以我快乐。”
喜欢一样东西，就要学会欣赏它，珍惜它，使它更弥足珍贵。
喜欢一个人，就要让他快乐，让他幸福，使那份感情更诚挚。
如果你做不到，那你还是放手吧！
所以有时候，有些人，也要学会放弃，因为放弃也是一种美丽 ...

写给 - MEI -

复杂的人生，一样的选择

总感觉生活乱糟糟的
除了每天固定的吃饭，睡觉
似乎还有好多事要考虑
不经意间
发现的东西让自己的心情更乱了
人太复杂了
复杂得让其他人吃惊
人又太脆弱
脆弱得让旁观着心痛
人本来就是种很难琢磨的动物
就像自己一样
自己对自己都不明白。
人呢
自私点、虚伪点也无防
谁让我们这么复杂
不过有句话说
上帝对任何人都是公平的
当上帝为你打开一扇门的时候
肯定也在同时关上你的一扇窗
要么选择门
要么选择窗
选择什么
就要努力去适应什么
到了实再无法继续的时候
冷静点
还有门和窗为你开着
但选择只有一个
现在懂了
但却迷茫了
也许这就是当初选择的结果
只不过最开始没有发现

Our World is not Perfect

Our world is not perfect. These imperfections cause a lot of misery. If I had the power to change things, these are three of the things I would like to change.The first is wars. Since time immemorial, mankind has been fighting each other to take revenge, to acquire more land or simply to show that one is more powerful than others. Whatever the reason, wars causes a lot of misery. Many die or are wounded in the actual fighting. The rest starve because there is little or no food to eat.

Many lose their homes if they are destroyed in the fighting. Education and trade are disrupted and those two things take a long time to restore. So, my first wish is there would be no more wars in the world so that people would lead happier and less troubled lives.

My second wish is that famine be eradicated. It is ironical that in this age of such great scientific advancement and high technology that the world cannot produce enough food to feed everybody. In many places around the world such as Africa, India and China, we regularly hear or read about thousands of people starving to death.

The people resemble living skeletons with swollen stomachs which are a sign of malnutrition. Children and babies become prematurely old and are too weak even to sit up. They just lie on the ground or in their mothers’ laps waiting for the end. The food scarcity may have been brought about by nature or government mismanagement. If i had the power, I would erase famine forever from the face of the earth.

I would also like to see something done about pollution. No part of the world is free from this scourge. Even the poles which are so far from human habitation are not spared. If man continued to treat earth like a rubbish dump, it would he his premature grave. Already holes in the ozone layer have appeared over both the North and South Poles because of emissions from motor vehicles, widespread burning of forests and indiscriminate use of chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) in sprays, refrigerators and air-conditioners.

Ozone blocks ultraviolet rays from reaching the earth. without ozone, the temperature of the earth would rise. Polar ice would melt and the sea level would rise. Inhabitants of low-lying areas such as the Netherlands, Venice and many other parts of the world would drown. Plants cannot grow in the higher temperature and man would die because there would be no food for him. So, it is earnest wish that the pollution of the world would stop immediately. What do you think?

Cycle of Life

I sit and wonder. I look at myself. Will I truly ever be happy? Will I ever have love? Will I ever love?

Then I think of my family, and I see the innocence and trust. I know that there is always some kind of love for me.

Then I once again look at myself. I see what I can be, with a little time and patience. I know now that I have a bright future. I hope and pray for God’s guidance. I have received it. I am happy. I am content. I am, Me.

I know that now. I know that my family will stand next to me. Making me happy. And give me happiness. The hard ships that are to come.
I know that God is next to me, whispering words of encouragement. As I walk down my chosen path. I know that I have truly been blessed.

I have found myself, have you?

Everyone life is a picture, painted by only one person. Life itself. The picture shows everything you’re doing, and everything you have done. But sometimes, life gets tired. and doesn’t want to paint a picture. So, Life sends problems to stop you.

If you give up, your picture is finished. If you keep going, so does your picture. So the question is: How soon do you want to see your picture? Do you want to see it now? When it could be so much more? Or later, when there’s so much more than before?

It’s your choice. I’ll keep going.

对自己自信一点

本以为是个无所畏惧的人
不太急于得到什么
也不害怕失去什么
而今
很长时间一直患得患失
但是仔细想想
还有什么害怕的
已经没有什么更多的东西能失去
至于得到
或许根本就不想要
只是做自己愿意做的
以及能够做的
其他
不去考虑
对于生活
基本没什么要求
只要有地方住
吃的饱
工作比较得心应手
唯独放不下的是情感
如果放下对它的过分需求
生活就会得到大自由了
所以
一直要做的且当务之急
是如何放下自己对情感的需求
感到一片开阔的空间正在属于我
这种开阔
让那些因为情感的需求而带来的
抑郁感觉黯然失色
生活中还必须避免的
是被伤感捆缚
这些负面的东西
一面与他们相处
一面让他们逐渐淡
相信现在的自己已经具备了这一能力

写给 - Berry - 的一句话。。。

人在世上是有一定的价值

要珍惜上天给的一切

现在的不快乐只是将来的回忆

不要那么的执著

我希望

你会快快乐乐的生活

反省

记忆里，
不知道是否还有些无法触及的伤感
在不断被岁月刷新之后
那些伤感是否还会蔓延
想着忘却
却又总会不自觉想起
想要拒绝回忆
往事却又总会浮现
每个人
只有在属于自己的故事里才能扮演主角
但
时常也会有独角戏
一个人的舞台有着太多的无奈
两个人的舞台
故事或许才算完整
有了浪漫与甜蜜
自然也会有心酸泛起
或许可以感受那份欢乐
却无法面对心酸
在泪水堆积的记忆里开始感受心灵的凄凉
人生没有永远的晴空
阳光却总是在风雨后
只是当心灵处在那自以为可以停泊一生的驿站时
总是不愿感受阳光的温暖
紧闭着心门
冷漠的表情
将自己包围在严寒之中
却不知冰封了自己
也刺伤了别人
走了很久
发觉回忆里的影子竟然开始模糊
而心酸竟也开始淡了

The Fear of Change

I use to block when dream when I allow my fear to grow bigger than my faith. But now I realise nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. I realize fear is a darkroom where negatives develop.

Today, I keep your fears to myself but share my courage with others. Some how I think panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it. Do you agree with me?

Personally I think many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. This is because there is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid.

Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them… they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight.

So, to fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.

As for me, I would sort out all the arguments and see which belonged to fear and which to creativeness. Other things being equal, I would make the decision which had the larger number of creative reasons on its side.

I have accepted fear as a part of life - specifically the fear of change…. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back.

The Fear of Failure

Quote:

“We are born into a vast room whose walls consist of a thousand doors of possibility.

Each door is flung open to the world outside, and the room is filled with light and noise.

We close some of the doors deliberately, sometimes with fear, sometimes with calm certainty.

Others seem to close themselves, some so quietly that we do not even notice.”
—Terry Teachout, City Limits


When I read this for the first time, I realized that my whole life was in this quote.

I did not want to do things because I feared failure, and other things I did because I knew I could succeed.

But because I didn’t take a risk and prove to myself that I would not fail, I will never have the chance to realize what could have happened.

But then there are those that I took, that I will never regret in my whole life, and that’s when the other doors close so quietly behind you that you don’t even notice…

信仰

悠悠的岁月中
印刻在自己生命足迹里的有一些灿烂的时光
也有一些黯淡的日子
有一些争吵喧闹的的繁华
也有一些沉默无声的孤寂
每当内心感觉到空虚的时候
默默地问自己一个问题
自己的信仰到底是什么
在人生的路上行走
我们不断遗失
青春、理想、激情
和各种美好
也在不断的遗忘和记忆中寻求精神的支撑点
当心的空洞在无限膨胀时
我
多么想使自己成为一个
虔诚的、有着坚定信仰的朝圣者

冥冥中

昏睡中
感觉着惆怅的诱惑
似睡似醒中
敲打键盘的手
不断记忆着一种冥冥中的牵引
无法停止记忆与回首
伤痛与失意的味
一种心情
一样寻找
一种可以依托的旧缘
无缘依托的心情
在寒冷的大地上
追随　　
孤独的寂寞灵魂造就了伟大的个人
曾试着去忘记那曾流下的泪水
却猛然发现这个谎谬的错误
漂流他乡异地的孤寂
在人潮拥挤中也消失得无影无踪
一种思念家乡的心绪油然而生
活在这个社会上
最重要的是去适应这个社会的一切
但在这种季节里
人难免会感到忧伤
自我的迷失
要成功
还是那种看似自以为是
却是自己一生的寄托的精神
一种心境被另一种心境所替代时
感觉到的
是无聊及往日苍促

Ever think life is easy?

Seriously I don’t.
Maybe it’s just because all this while I never wanna let go. I realized I don’t wanna let go my own pride!

You know there is this song which remind me on how unforgivable I am. Whenever I listen to it, the song make me pondered why I have to be so unrealistic?

It’s make me realize being happy is just as easy as 123. What can’t I just let go what others is talking bout, what others is doing, or what others doing towards me!

All I have to do is just being relax. Forget about it and be happy.

Unfortunately I never do it. Never did I try…

Most of the time, I will just get myself into frustration. I realized the more I get frustrated the more I feel the pain in between…

Lately I seem to get mood swing like my bosses too! No joke! :(

That’s really sound bad huh? Depression feeling you know. I have been telling myself to control it as good as I can.

I really wish I can get over it, I really wanted to…

::Life Means No Worry::

Keep believing in myself

There may be days when I get up in the morning and things aren’t the way I had hoped they would be.

That’s when I have to tell myself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint me and let me down.

But those are the times when I must remind myself to trust my own judgments and opinions, to keep my life focused on believing in myself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in my life, and it is up to me to accept them.

Constantly keep myself headed in the right direction for my own. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle I will find a stronger sense of who I’m.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, all I have to do is just remember to believe in myself and all I want my life to be.

Because the challenges and changes will only help me to find the goals that I know are meant to come true for my own.

Keep Believing in Yourself Too…

What life has taught you?

Have you ever think what life has taught you? To me, life goes on even when something tragic strikes you down.

No matter how hopeless, alone, or uncertain I may feel at that moment, and the many empty moments that will follow, I must have faith that eventually my life will be normal again.

Although I will never return to the normal that I knew before the tragedy, in time I will eventually experience the healing of my heart, which will ease my restless soul and release the power to my spirit allowing my mind the freedom to dream again.

I think God doesn’t expect me to figure out why things happen nor does he expect me to be unaffected by the suffering I witness.

He does however grant me a new kind of peace to bear the pain I experience in my own life and in the world around me.

In every bad thing that happens, eventually good will follow. The good doesn’t make the bad better nor does it fill the void I have as a result of the tragedy.

The good is a simple reminder that God is with me! Don’t you think so?

It's Amazing, but

It's amazing, but if you really look closely you'll discover that people are extremely private creatures.

For all that we seem to want to boast and have ourselves become acclaimed, we still tend to bottle our truest and deepest feelings inside.

And, for what? Most often to protect our helpless hearts from heaps of pain, anger, ridicule, despair or ultimately heartbreak.

But, what if keeping our inner selves hidden is what causes the pain to appear in the first place?

Have you ever considered that preventing the people close to us from really getting to know us is what's keeping them from giving their all as well?

周末，写给自己的乱七八糟

日记都是写给自己看的，网络还是很有用，写了不知道多少本日记，到现在基本找不到了，但是写在网上的都还有迹可寻，大不了就是忘记密码，忘记了还可以密码找回，如果连提示问题都忘记了，那也真是无药可救了。

喜欢周末，喜欢它带来的自由，喜欢它带来的放松，喜欢它带来的欢畅，喜欢它带来的祝福，喜欢它带来的甜蜜，也喜欢它带来的淡淡的忧伤！

在华仔的童梦奇缘中，冯小刚的一句话相当经典：“生活是一个过程，可惜的是它不能重来，可喜的也正是它不需要重来！”

寂寞

有人说，我们都是寂寞的孩子，有着不同的寂寞；
有时候，我们害怕这份孤寂的感觉，拼命用其他方式将其填满；
有时候，我们却贪恋这种苍凉之感，在其中享受着自己的世界；
其实，所谓寂寞，只是一种感觉，不同人在不同时刻所拥有的一份感觉而已。
可是，寂寞的人，再多的痛都会藏心底，骗了别人，忍不住还要欺骗自己；
寂寞，是戒不掉的情愫，忘不掉的忧伤；
我们，在寂寞成长，在寂寞中不断失去、却也不断收获着一些东西；
所以，不要害怕寂寞，珍爱它，从中获取自己所需的一切；
寂寞，是舍之不去的；
寂寞，如影随形......

爱或不爱

从前总是认为只有爱或不爱，现在才知道，除了爱或不爱，还有其他。

不是不爱，也不是很爱，这才是大部分人的感情生活。

若你能找到一个你很爱他的人， 这是你的福分。当你问起大部分人， 尤其是男人， 你问他们爱不爱身边的女人，他们不会说不爱，也很难会说自己十分爱对方。

爱与不爱之间，还有很大的空间。 有时候， 甚至打得有点令人迷惘。

你有时侯觉得自己很爱他，有时候又觉得自己不爱他。 他不在身边的时候， 你会思念他， 回味和他在一起的那些美好日子。 然而，当他在身边， 你也许会想念着另一个人。 即使不是如此， 你也会常常跟他吵嘴， 你嫌弃他这样那样， 你会发觉他不适合你， 你巴不得一个人生活。

你有一阵子爱他爱得疯了，觉得他什么都好， 又会有一阵子对他没感觉， 你不想亲他， 不想跟他拥抱。

到底你是爱他还是不爱？ 假如不爱， 为什么会思念他？ 假如是爱， 为什么有时候又会没有感觉， 甚至想放弃？

不是只有爱或不爱吗？ 为什么我们却在爱与不爱之间惆怅？

原文摘自：张小娴　《爱或不爱》

手表

半夜醒来

到处漆黑一片
忽然觉得
我需要一块手表

从来没有发现如此的需要
离开了电脑，手机
似乎就如
深海处的那条可怜的身影

时间
不经意的溜走
不记得什么时间开始
渐渐的忽略时间的流逝

我想
我确实是需要一块手表了
那种，上面有20个标示的手表
眼见着时间一分一秒溜走

或许
会再次珍惜

深夜的胡思乱想

有时候感觉自己还是像个小孩子似的
这句话在我的词典里是典型的贬义词
听一首歌会莫名其妙地听出眼泪
看一出电影
心情就像坐过山车
随着剧情笑
随着剧情哭。
有时间的时候
下午喜欢跑去附近学校的草地上晒太阳
晚上喜欢坐在阶梯上看星星
只是很孤单
又是一个特别容易难过伤心的人
感情脆弱得像放在桌子边缘的玻璃杯
不小心一碰就碎
很坦白地说
对感情这东西真的没多少信心了
不是一个只求曾经拥有，不求天长地久的人
到最后
每一个人都可能背叛你
这就是人
没有永远的朋友，只有永远的利益。
多么的准确又多么的可悲。
听一首歌
听得心里好难过
又胡思乱想了
。。。。。。。。。

Make A Wish!

First of all, I wish I don’t have to wish!

I wish everything was right in everyone life and was happy.

I wish that everyone wish will come true.

I wish I can be happy and do whatever I want to do everyday without having to do things I don’t like to do.

I want love and passion to hold me in my life.

For the sake of the entire world, I wish that the torture bill would be reversed. If not, I fear that we are going to see the end of society as know and love it.

I wish I have the power to change the things around me.

I wish I could be myself more and not worry about what other people think of me so much.

I wish I could just have some peace in my life…

I wish to be eternally creative.

I wish i could become invisible at will.

I wish people wouldn’t ignore my cries for help just because they think I “Look OK”

I wish I Knew which way to go.

I wish I could tell everyone it’s all going to be all right, quit worrying so much.

I wish I could runaway.

I wish I could travel the whole world with EVERYTHING paid!

Opps, too much of a wish come true? What is your wish?

Does God Have E-mail?

Hello there God,
It’s me again. The one who hates and curses and sins. The one who questions your whole unquestionable plan. Can you see through my soul? That I’m a humble guy?

Have you any answers? Must I look inside? I’ve been running with the Devil. Sometimes I let him drive. Maybe I’m confused. Maybe, coulda, shoulda. Maybe soon I’ll fry.

I listen to my friends. Who claim to know you well. Will I fall from your good grace?

All the world’s beliefs. Come from you. Some say it’s law. Some say it’s libel. The Devil made me do it. I’ve heard crazy people blame. But what about the righteous ones who also kill in your name?

The TV preachers preach about the Holy Lake Of Fire. Should I listen to them? Or are they too burning liars?

I’m not mad at you. Sometimes I feel I’m blessed. My family, my life but what about the rest? I know you must be busy or so it seems to me I’m not deaf or dumb or blind.

This ain’t a cry for help to deliver me from sin, I’m fine with who I am and I’m fine with where I’ve been.

I don’t expect a phone call and I know you will not write maybe you have E-mail so you could shed some light.

So I’ll stop my prodding now, I’ll just wait and watch and ponder. Thinking of the day When I no longer have to wonder…

What do you think?

If I had 24 hours to live

If I had 24 hours to live, I would try and laugh to keep from crying because I would know I would soon be dying.

I believe that running from death will only getting there faster.

I would end-up writing about a life that I would not be fighting to keep.

Before my flight I would be with the one that I love and that would be the last of my might...

Friends

Friends are people you know and like. They can be either sex and of any age. I do not think that anyone can leave without friends. all of us need friends for various reasons.

We need friends to play and enjoy life with. Friends are also a source of comfort when we are sad. Friends will cushion us during this moment of sadness. Friends will be there to remove most of the pain.

Furthermore, friends are there to help us when we are in trouble. When we are without a job, they will try to get us one. When we are sick, they will come to visit and comfort us.

When we have no money, they will help us with some. When others talk bad about us, they will defend us. Were our houses burn down they would be the first on the scene to offer solace and help.

With friends to help us when we are in trouble, things are not so bad. As the saying goes, “Trouble shared is trouble halved.”

Friends are there not only to share our sorrows. They are there to share our joys, too.

When we are successful, they will be the first to congratulate us. When we tie the knot with someone we love, our friends will rejoice with us. When our careers or businesses take off, they will be there to show their pleasure.

With friends to share in our moments of joy, our happiness is multiplied. As the saying goes, “Joy shared is joy doubled”.

However, we should be aware of fair-weather friends. Fair weather friends are with us only when times are good. They desert us when we are down-and-out. Another type of friends we should be aware of are false friends.

After knowing everything about you, they may betray you. Keep a distance from these two types of friends.

Choose your friends with great care. After having found out who your true friends are, bind them to yourself “with hoops of steel,”

So, have you find your ” F R I E N D”?

写给某某人的 - 有些 -

有些人一直没机会见，等有机会见了，却又犹豫了，相见不如不见。
有些事一直没机会做，等有机会了，却不想再做了。
有些话埋藏在心中好久，没机会说，等有机会说的时候，却说不出口了。
有些爱一直没机会爱，等有机会了，已经不爱了。
有些人很多机会相见的，却总找借口推脱，想见的时候已经没机会了。
有些话有很多机会说的，却想着以后再说，要说的时候，已经没机会了。
有些事有很多机会做的，却一天一天推迟，想做的时候却发现没机会了。
有些爱给了你很多机会，却不在意没在乎，想重视的时候已经没机会爱了。

人生有时候，总是很讽刺。

一转身可能就是一世。说好永远的，不知怎么就散了。
最后自己想来想去竟然也搞不清当初是什么原因分开彼此的。
然后，你忽然醒悟，感情原来是这么脆弱的。
经得起风雨，却经不起平凡；风雨同船，天晴便各自散了。
也许只是赌气，也许只是因为小小的事。
幻想着和好的甜蜜，或重逢时的拥抱，那个时候会是边流泪边捶打对方，还傻笑着。
该是多美的画面。
没想到的是，一别竟是一辈子了。
于是，各有各的生活，各自爱着别的人。
曾经相爱，现在已互不相干。

即使在同一个小小的城市，也不曾再相逢。
某一天某一刻，走在同一条街，也看不见对方。
先是感叹，后来是无奈。
也许你很幸福，因为找到另一个适合自己的人。
也许你不幸福，因为可能你这一生就只有那个人真正用心在你身上。

2009年1月8日的夜

总喜欢午夜呆在网上，没有丝毫的睡意，人的心，反而静了下来，思考很多的问题，海马行空。。。

看以往的博文，想过去的日子，对生活除了感叹便是叹息，感叹生活的无趣、无奈，感叹生活的足弄、生活的回报，想着无数个有月亮的日子，白的晃眼，想着那些听雨的日子，还有已经忘记的音乐。。。

独处的日子，望着天明的心，回忆睡梦里的泪花。。。

日子总是这样地过去，不少一秒，饱满也罢，憔悴也罢，只是需要知道自己在做些什么，是怎样的一个梦，灰暗也罢，绚丽也罢。。。

现在忽然被思念挤满，一种叫浪漫的东西袭来，你可曾知道。。。

只是我知道，明天有太阳，你将回来，还有我的一个拥抱。。。

孤独的渴望

受够了
颓废的日子

想家

迫切的
一个人在外

真的
享受不起这种孤独了

漂泊的心
渴望着归宿

想哭的时候
渴望一个宽阔的肩膀

一个人的日子
渴望着相聚

不知道从什么时候开始
中了孤独的毒

不要在这样继续下去

却

怎么也抽不出身了

都是那些日子

有人說，人生是由無數回憶組成，回憶是由日子累積，當生命去到盡頭，暮然回首，原來，令你難捨的，都是那些日子。

人生就是为了寻找爱的过程

没有人是故意要变心的，他爱你的时候是真的爱你，
可是他不爱你的时候也是真的不爱你了，
他爱你的时候没有办法假装不爱你；
同样的，他不爱你的时候也没有办法假装爱你 。
当一个人不爱你要离开你，
你要问自己还爱不爱他，
如果你也不爱他了，千万别为了可怜的自尊而不肯离开；
如果你还爱他，你应该会希望他过得幸福快乐，
希望他跟真正爱的人在一起，绝不会阻止，
你要是阻止他得到真正的幸福，就表示你已经不爱他了，
而如果你不爱他，你又有什么资格指责他变心呢？
爱不是占有，
你喜欢月亮，不可能把月亮拿下来放在脸盆里，
但月亮的光芒仍可照进你的房间。
换句话说，你爱一个人，也可以用另一种方式拥有，
让爱人成为生命里的永恒回忆，
如果你真爱一个人，就要爱他原来的样子─爱他的好，也爱他的坏：
爱他的优点，也爱他的缺点，
绝不能因为爱他，就希望他变成自己所希望的样子，
万一变不成就不爱他了。
真正爱一个人是无法说出原因的，
你只知道无论何时何地、心情好坏，你都希望这个人陪著你；
真正的感情是两人能在最艰苦中相守，也就是没有丝毫要求。
毕竟，感情必须付出，而不是只想获得；
分开是一种必然的考验，
如果你们感情不够稳固，只好认输，
真爱是不会变成怨恨的。

似乎凝滞

又剩下一个人了
面对空旷的房间独享着这份孤独与寂寞
打开电脑看着空洞的画面
思想在这一刻似乎凝滞了
听着流缓的音乐
本已平静的心又一次掀起了波澜
是否又走入了另一个轮回
一直以来文字是发泄情感的忠实工具
而此时
却无从下笔去书写这混乱的思绪
文字也失去了坚忍我信念的力量
总想写点什么
可文字却如一个哽咽将全部的情感在一瞬间吞嗜
一个无情的人心为何又散发着阵阵的痛
为何平复已久的安静的心灵怎会又蠢蠢欲动
是那压抑许久的情结未得到平息
还是本身就不曾远离这红尘的俗世
苦苦挣扎了许久的灵魂在那一刻崩蹋
不知道现在我是否是真实
但清醒的明白又一次历练了自己的卑微
当指尖又一次敲击起这久违文字的时候
落寞的心却想无所顾及的渲泄
可
却怎么也不能将真实付逐于指尖
已然混沌了
忆起过往的一幕幕
幸福的像在天堂
现却心酸楚楚
泪眼迷蒙看着那灰暗的眼神
心也在隐隐的痛着
是绝情颠覆了储心积虑建立起来的信心
可曾知道
在拒绝的同时
也在用坚强掩饰着我的无奈

Car Progress - List of tasks -

MC today...
So went to workshop for a visit on my baby after dropped a visit to clinic...

Everything so far so good...

Here is the list that completed :-

1. Engine oil pan
2. Gear Box - Got it from chop shop

All fixed back into engine bay already...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bought all this items with Own pocket money :(
1. 1 new rim + 2 Falken 16" tires = RM787.50
2. Amsoil Engine Oil = RM160.00
3. Daihatsu Oil Filter = RM 9.00
4. Castrol Brake Oil = RM24.00
5. Engine Mounting = RM 100.00
6. Zhapalang Gear Oil = Temporary use workshop 1 for flush 2nd hand gearbox, will buy "Mobil 1" later RM 110

Don't know whether the front absorber condition ok or not? haven't check... if die = i die 1st...
It will cost around RM400+-

Interior damaged:-
1. Tweeter - passenger side, damaged due to the impact of crashed.
2. Head Unit Casing - Broken, hopefully my CD player and pre-amp didn't get any damage.

God bless Me!!!

Fall Sick

Was not enough sleep for few days and went genting last 2 days until 4am++ only reached home...
Finally, I'm fall sick...

Running nose... until hard to breath
Slightly Fever... and getting heavy until blur blur...
No appetite to eat...
No time to see doctor...

Still got a lot of places to go for work and personal stuffs...

aHhhHhHh.... HELP!!!!!

Car Progress

*Speechless*

2nd picture showing the broken parts:
1. engine oil pan
2. gearbox - can't really see from this picture due to too heavy to turn over

Items need to be buy from own purse:
1. Engine moulting - RM 110+-
2. 1 Sport Rim, 1 more Sport Rim for repair + 2 new tires - RM 800+-
3. Amsoil Engine oil - RM 160 +-
4. Brake Oil (Dot 3) - RM ??? still thinking which better
5. Mobil 1 Gear Oil - RM 110+-
6. Others - Unknown

Sigh... headache..and penalty amount still unknown...
just pray that it can be done before new year.

I'm dare not to think how much gonna to pay out...

Untitled

Don't know WHY?!

Moody...Moody...and Moody...

Don't Even know what I had done in 2008...
I'm just like a rubbish... and so useless...
Why everything end up like this?

I get stucked on job, relationship and financial...
I don't know what I want...
I don't know what is the next step...

Everything is turned from bright to dark...

Feelings of helpless, hopeless and useless keep rolling in my mind...

Now, I felt that I'm so lonely...

Untitled

Went over to workshop today.
Mr Lee asked me " You want to claim a new gearbox from perodua?"
Sure I answered " If can, sure I want to"

Mr Lee gaves me a sigh and told me that "is impossible to do so..."
and told me I better claim my car as "TOTAL LOST"

I got shocked from this 2 words...

Sigh..Bad things came 1 by 1.. I had enough to face all this things...
I'm tired and So tired...

The only way to solve is get a second hand gearbox from "chop shop"
Some more, I'll get a penalty from insuran...
How much? I don't know yet...
Estimate figures is 3-4k...

*speechless*

Just hope that everything will be getting smoother in 2009.
Just hope that I able to solve all the shits from 2008.

God Bless Me...

A New Life

1/1/2009 Thursday

Is a New Life / Beginning for me.

Why I said so?

2008 WAS A NIGHTMARE!
BAD THINGS HAPPENED!
SHITS HAPPENED!

I learned a lot from all the SHITS...
SHITS changed my mindset...
Fear, Helpless & Lack of Confidence was my COMPANION...

Today,
I've moved out from the sadness place...
I should have a positive thinking mindset...
No more Fear, Helpless & Lack of Confidence

I'll do whatever I think is RIGHT!

Hopefully, I'll getting better in 2009...

Wish me Luck...
&
God Bless Me...